“That which we have seen and heard declare we unto you also, that ye also may have fellowship with us: yea, and our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ” (1 Jn. 1:3).
A need for rich personal relationship is deeply embedded in our created nature. We owe our existence not to impersonal forces, but to a personal Creator, and it was the Creator Himself who said, “It is not good that man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18). We are personal beings, persons designed for full, vibrant relationship.
But sin destroys relationship. “Behold, Jehovah’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear: but your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, so that he will not hear” (Isa. 59:1-2). It severs us from God and from others, cutting us off from this thing that is necessary to our nature. So there is perhaps no symptom of sin any more obvious than the deep, gnawing pain of isolation. And in sin, there is no groaning more desperate than to be freed from our loneliness.
But however much we need relationship in general, our most vital need, the only one we can’t survive without, is our need for relationship with God. In every man there is a loneliness, an inner chamber of peculiar life into which God only can enter. Our craving for God is a dependency we were meant to have. It is a profound need for perfect relationship, and to try to fill this need with our flawed connection to other human beings is not only wrong, it is hopeless.
If we fail to let God fill our need for relationship – if it is not in Him that our loneliness is taken away – then we will force an impossible mandate on the imperfect people around us. We will demand from others a satisfaction they aren’t capable of providing in this broken world. Only the infinite God is able to relate to us perfectly. And even with God, what we can have in this life is only a foretaste of the perfect union that heaven will provide.
When we find that even our most intimate earthly companions can’t provide the depth of relationship for which we were created, bitterness, resentment and depression may be the tempting reaction. Yet there is a healthier response. We can see the imperfections in our own relationships as a salutary reminder. God alone is the One to whom we must look for life, unfailing love, and meaningful relationship. To forget that is to lose the path that leads to heaven.
“If we say that we have fellowship with him and walk in the darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: but if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 Jn. 1:6-7).